Revival

I was originally set out to revive Meaningful Memes with an article about something that annoys me. A hand-written banter of opinions about other people's opinions on a topic that I am not nearly as educated about as I would like to be sits on my desk. The dark scribbles are neat and clean, a few scratches here and there as I picked words from my mind with as much care as I could muster in those moments of frustration. These words mock and degrade others with the intention of promoting a positive notion: think before you speak/write.

Upon realizing the hypocrisy with a thoughtful reflection, I decided not to share these words with the rest of the world. They will, instead, meet their timely end in the recycle box with the mess of millions of other easily discarded ideas and words once thought and spoken in some forever drifting moment of time.

Instead, I will utilize this moment for the sake of goodness and hope. As the new year approaches like the dawn of a new and shining day, I find myself in want of a truer embrace of beauty. I feel a pull on my heart by the gravity of impermanence, and I wonder why I feel so weighted down. A self-righteous pessimism disguised for many years as realism has stunted my growth and robbed me of my energy. I no longer want the weight of this ugliness that has beseeched my attention for more days than I would like to recount. This crass lifestyle of crude behavior confused with boldness and unharnessed glowering mistaken for virtuosity have tarnished my image and brutalized my intentions for goodness.

So I hope to be rid of these deplorable habits. Slowly, I have been working towards a more positive and beautiful existence. I have dismissed cigarettes from their vice-like grip on my life. For over three weeks now, I have breached the destructive relationship I had with nicotine. I have incorporated art as a steady companion. I'm learning how to paint glasses and dishware to be given as holiday gifts and to, maybe one day, sell to willing buyers for a slight profit. I'm learning to love writing again, imploring my skill and talent to reawaken and keep me company. I'm allowing my curiosity and imagination more free reign in my life. I'm allowing myself to love without an expectation of anything in return. I'm letting go of expectations in general with the goal of enjoying life as it comes. I'm strongly considering becoming vegetarian once again. I'm building courage and banishing unnecessary anxieties that prevent me from completely being myself. I've began my own website dedicated to the webcomics I've been making, called www.CandidComics.BlackInkComics.com (though have been slow in making more, due to recent unfortunate incidents that have significantly affected my funny bone).

I want to see beautiful things and create more beauty. I hope you'll join me in this travel of beauty, goodness, joy, and love.