Button-Pusher

"Where do you work?" "What do you do for a living?"

The answer is always more complex, more important, more interesting than the reality of the situation. Local news station. Computer graphics operator for the news shows. I try to dumb it down by saying that I'm just a button-pusher. That's what I do. I push buttons. This is easier than explaining exactly what my job entails.

It always feels like there's pressure to buff up my social status when I answer this question. What you do to make money is a part of your identity. It defines who you are as a person. Just like your choice in couch and matching love seat, the car that you drive, the clothes that you happened to wear that day, the way you style the hair on your head, how you paint your face, if you have the updated iPhone 4 or a flip phone from six years ago...

"Ooh, you work in the news? That must be exciting!"

I watch people die every day. I listen to the stories about political and religious fundamentalists gagging the airwaves with their trite comments on how things "should" be. I air updated photos and information about child molesters. I see the most depraved individuals running away and getting caught. I help report the latest death tolls from tragic incidents as mere numbers on a screen, but give a face to the most recent celebrity gossip. I see when a man and his son go missing on their fishing trip, the search and rescue team briefly seek out their bodies, and then end with a shrug, figuring that the bodies will turn up at some point. I see when a police officer or trooper or soldier go missing on their fishing trips, the search and rescue team ceaselessly combs the region until they are found, deploying every search team and vehicle imaginable.

No, not exciting. I just push buttons.

I'm a button-pusher.