Resolutions

Positivity has been my main focus thus far since the end of last year (2011) and has been integrated into my New Year's Resolutions. I typically forgo making resolutions, since the statistical probability of keeping them is so low. This year, however, I recognize that this is not a resolution that will be traditionally started at the dawn of the New Year only to fade with the waning enthusiasm most people are all too familiar with. I think that if you are going to resolve to change something about yourself for the better, it should be a day-by-day lifetime goal. In other words, you should strive to make your resolutions something tangible, realistic, active, and something that you can focus on every day while maintaining the notion that this is something that will last you for the rest of your life.We should strive to make Life Resolutions.

Positivity is something that I have intertwined with every variable of my existence. Being more positive, while leaving myself enough room to be human, is my Life Resolution. All other resolutions stem from this one. Positivity is like the roots and trunk of a tree. My other goals are the branches, emerald leaves, and eventually the white buds in full bloom.

One of my branching resolutions is creating and maintaining more interests. That includes learning how to play the piano, writing creative nonfiction (my favorite form of literature), painting glass dishware, taking more creative photos, reading and learning more about the world and other people, and learning how to cook, to name a few. All of these interests will be naturally maintained and built upon and expanded as time goes on, just like how answering one question spurs a whole new set of questions to be investigated. I will follow my curiosity and play with a childlike heart.

Another branch concerns my physical well-being. Speaking with friends and family, I have been introduced to several key factors to creating a more physically healthy lifestyle. For instance, my friend Larry explained to me what he does for his body, eating two healthy meals a day, eating like a diabetic and avoiding all (absolutely ALL) fried foods. Whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and a helping of fish was recommended. I enjoy the notion of eating like a diabetic before the potential onset of diabetes. What better way to prevent a slightly quality-deficient life than to behave like you already have that illness? (Thank you for your helpful advice, Larry!)

Of course, it's not just about food. It's also about avoiding the plague of sedentariness with a healthy dose of enjoyable exercise. For me, that would be walking at a pace of 3.5-4mph at an incline (or outside) for 20-45 minutes every day. It puts my muscles to work, it boosts my cardiovascular health, it helps prevent illness, it increases blood flow to the brain, it revs up my energy for the rest of the day, and it provides me with the opportunity to meditate (also another branch). When I treat exercise with the mindset that weight loss is a bonus, I find that I become far less frustrated with the activity, which then creates a positive association with exercise, and I find that I am more likely to do it far more often.

As mentioned above, another branch that I am working on is my spiritual growth.

Yeah, I know, I'm an atheist. I think it's very unlikely that actual "spirits" exist, as defined as a supernatural entity, or a "soul." "Spiritual" is a term that I use loosely, mostly in the emotional sense, attempting to balance my emotions and experience that connection with other people, the world and the universe. Here's something that Michael Shermer wrote regarding an atheist's spiritual nature.

This resolution to pay more attention to my spirituality, focusing on my connection with everything and everyone else outside of my concept of "me," takes place when I read about or watch documentaries concerning the universe. I find that the science behind much of what we do understand and what we still have yet to understand to be a fascinating and flavorful method to feeling more in touch with life. As well as this, when I exercise, I meditate. I focus on my body's movements, on my breathing, on the music, and on the good things in my life and all the goods things that I hope will come. That, on top of the endorphins raging through my brain, always makes me feel incredible after a good walk.

There are so many more branches of resolutions that I'm working on right now, that it would take so long for me to name them all.

I think it's very important to have a sturdy foundation when resolving to change your life for the better. If your changes are based on fleeting, superficial desires or on an unreasonable expectation of what you think you can achieve, I think it would be more difficult for you to keep or enhance your determination for a better life. Basing it on something as simple and overreaching as positivity, I think, seems pretty realistic and stable. It's something that connects all of my resolutions together beautifully, and it doesn't demand anything from me that I cannot give.

One of the branches of resolutions includes incorporating this in my daily routine! As I progress, I would love to share my images with all of you! :-)

Practicality and Creativity Will Save the Day...and Some Cash

I would consider myself a fairly practical gal. I own few possessions, and the item I own the most of are books, which I have recently began purchasing on the cheap at thrift stores or for free on the Kindle or borrowed from friends and the library. I have a select few clothes that I wear regularly, like a few pairs of jeans, some simple shirts/tops, a couple pairs of shoes that I will wear to the bone, and some hats or scarves bought for $0.50/each at my favorite thrift store. I don't wear much jewelry, I shave my own hair in a GI Jane-style buzzcut, and I tend to enjoy the simple things in life, like learning a musical instrument, writing, reading, taking walks, painting, playing Nerf Wars, and sitting around a bonfire with some cheap alcohol and good company.

Damn... I'm gonna need a bigger eraser!

And yet, I still haven't managed to pay off my debts. I'm approximately a whole $6,000 in the hole with credit cards and a loan, used for a couple of surgeries. $1,700 here, $2,000 there, another $2,300 over there, and that's not including my approximately $5,000 school loans that are still in deferment. A lack of brutal budgeting has led to my seemingly permanent procrastination in paying off these debts. Though I know there are thousands of other individuals and families who are in far deeper debt, the debt that I have accrued still holds me under just enough to occasionally gasp for breath. I keep kicking and flailing, trying to break free of this hold that bars me from doing the things that I think will add to the quality of my life -- travel, see new places, visit the people that I adore.

I also had a CoxHealth bill that was preventing me from working toward paying off my credit card and loan debts. Recently, I went ahead and paid the rest of the $300+ bill off and scratched it off my seemingly eternal "To-Do" list. Immediately, I noticed a shift of the burden on my shoulders. I felt lighter, a little closer to the surface of the ocean of debt. I liked it.

I liked it so much that I decided I would budget my income and place paying these bills off as my number one priority. I will attempt to use $500 of my monthly income (roughly half of what I make per month) to put towards paying off my debts, one at a time. In order to do this, I need to go out less (for drinks and food) and buy basic foods in bulk for home-cooked meals. In a time of microwavable meals in a matter of a few minutes, this will be a challenge for me. I've spoiled myself with expensive daily trips to the supermarket for Steamables, Rockstars, and 6-packs of Carona or Boulevard Wheat. My cooking skills consist mainly of tossing a pre-cooked meal in the microwave and waiting impatiently for 2-5 minutes for my steaming soggy supper.

I have become complacent with how I indulge most of my whims when it concerns food and drink. Now I have to relearn how I think about food its preparation. This will be difficult at first, but I think it will be beneficial overall. On top of saving money, I will probably end up losing some of the weight that I've gained while satisfying my urges to drink anything except cheap coffee and tap water.

Grains and legumes in bulk, my new best friends

This should prove to be an interesting and most inventive journey. If anyone has any tips on cheap, healthy food recipes where I can buy the ingredients in bulk, I would be ever so grateful for your shared wisdom!

Write or GTFO

There are hordes of people who have something that they want to say, but just don't know how to say it. They're politically, religiously, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually driven beasts with ideas that evade the elegance of language. They don't necessarily have novel ideas, but they have thoughts and feelings about particular issues, nonetheless. So they remain stationary, the ideas rumbling through their minds like a summer storm. They either go insane or they reach out to someone who shares their ideas and has already written them down.

What do you do if you have the will and the drive for words, but the well of ideas has run dry? Many of the ideas you contemplate are already written down by someone else, and they've accomplished this feat far more competently than you ever might have. Soon, you stagnate. I can just imagine a puddle of still water in the middle of the road following a brief shower getting stomped on by neighborhood kids. The water goes stale. It just lays there and waits for evaporation.

The most agitating advice for pen-blocked writer is "Write what you know." What if you don't care about what you know? What if what you know is uninteresting? Or what if you strive to attain Socrates' wisdom by acknowledging that "I know that I know nothing"?

Then I was gifted with the best advice that anyone could possibly receive:
"Shut the fuck up and just write." It doesn't matter what you write, it doesn't matter who reads it, it doesn't matter if it lasts throughout the ages like a tale from Shakespeare or Homer, it doesn't matter if you like it, it doesn't matter if other people like it. If you write enough, you're bound to come up with at least one diamond in the mess of worthless pebbles. If you don't, do not despair: the process is what matters most. Just enjoy yourself. If you're not enjoying yourself, then get the fuck out of it and find something that you do enjoy.